Controlled Alternate

It's been one of those days where you just wonder what would've happened if you lived your life differently. Like... made different key choices at each stage of your life that would've shaped you to be a far different person. Different dreams, different schools, different subjects, different girl... It's said that the person you are is who you were meant to be, that try as you like all you can do is create some facade of a person that can hide who you really are. (I hesitate to use a phrase like 'who you really are, because I don't really believe there's even such a thing) If I'd gone to SJI instead I believe I'dve turned out alot differently, in a rather ironic sense. If I'd decided to play sports instead I'd have a rather different outlook on life. If I'd gone triple science I might've had much better results. If I'd gone after someone else... *shrugs*

Of course on hindsight it's easy to say that 'I could have taken that other choice' but ultimately there's no real way to figure out what would've happened if you had. The people that interest me the most tend to be the people I see glimpses of myself in, with more similarities than differences, but leading completely different lives. Ironically the person that best fits the description is the one person I've spent most of my life with - my brother. 17 years and I still find myself puzzled by his motivations, dreams and tastes. One minute he seems to be following the path I've taken, the other he stubbornly veers off in a completely different direction and forges his own life. It's... interesting, to see what he does. I'm not the kind of sibling that gives him good advice on life or anything. All I've done up til this point is tell him the choices I've taken and where they've gotten me, to see if he'd make the same choice.

It stands to reason in a rather ironic sense that the more time you spend with someone the less you understand them, at least for me, because I feel more and more that the person I understand the least is myself.