Having dinner with Michelle yesterday kinda made me realise how much fun it is to talk to people and not have to worry about how anything you say might be taken the wrong way, misunderstood, or give offense. It makes conversation so much fun. And I am severely starved of that kind of conversation in my daily life 5 days a week.
I went for penitential service just now. (For the uninformed non-Catholics, that's like a confession mass. And I can't really be bothered to go any further) Going for confession always kinda sucked for me, because there's never any forgiveness if you're not really repentant, and if you're not confessing you're just saying how fucked up you are aloud to somebody, which will only make you feel worse, and you feel absolutely no absolution for your sins after that.
Today I confessed that I was running away from the love of others. Friends, family and especially God. The more love you show for me the more likely I am to not reciprocate it as well. I don't really know why, it's not like I'm scared to open up to people or anything. I think I just forgot how to be selfless a long time ago.
Typing the first line of the above paragraph kinda reminded me of a conversation in the mini-canteen from what seems like a lifetime ago, which went something like this:
Sarah: There are just some bible passages that I can't find any way to relate to my cell group about. Like the whole book of Jonah. I mean seriously who feels like they're running away from God?
Me: Every day.
And I still am.
6 comments:
I don't feel like I'm running away from God... Sometimes I think it's the other way around.
Haha. I wonder if God wonders which way it is too.
I'd forgotten about our many semi-theological discussions in the mini-canteen. Miss those days.
-Sarah
'Discussions' is a rather mild description of how most of them went. But yea.
haha I don't remember ever really getting too upset with you? Or least, there was no lasting damage :p
That's because I'm nice.
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