Leader of Men

It occurs to me that I make a pretty bad leader. Most of my life I've avoided the major responsibility of taking charge of things either due to apathy or laziness, and I always believed that even if I did take the reins I'd still be able to do a pretty decent job of leading people to do something.

I suppose I always assumed leadership was purely about the decision making, which spans from playing too many strategy games. Dragoons move here, Zealots rush there, Templars go in and rape the shit out of everyone. When everything moves according to how I want it to, things tend to go in rather positive directions. Sure it doesn't mean that everything will go according to plan, but at least you can predict the outcomes and try your best to pull something good out of every situation.

Problem is, Zeus never says 'no'. Lina never gets distracted by boys during a fight, and Gondar never lacks motivation to run down somebody for the kill. There's this... instinctive frustration in me, when I'm in a position of leadership and things arn't going to way I asked it to, and not because of unpredictable external factors. I lack the... motivational ability that my mom teaches, and the reason why I never believed in it was because it never worked for me. Hence, the only motivational technique I know is the one that DID work for me, which apparently, doesn't seem to do much for anyone else.

Which... is starting to be a problem, I suppose.