Asylum

Before I forget, everyone should go watch Fantastic Mr Fox because it's pretty awesome.

It's been two weeks since I've left Army and while I've kinda wanted to write down what I've learned and how I've changed in the last two years I can't really seem to get down to it. Alot of reluctance involved in digging up those memories. I still won't say that it was an invaluable experience that I'll cherish forever, but I'll at least admit now that it wasn't a complete waste of my time. Anyway, moving on.

Batman Arkham Asylum has got to be one of the most gripping games I've played ever. It's like... a combination of Metal Gear, Devil May Cry and Phoenix Wright all in one. It's pretty psychologically intense as well. I'm attributing my minor headache now to Joker and Scarecrow.

Addiction

I have come to the conclusion that after a night of clubbing, I'll end up being filled with an immense amount of loathing for:

a) Myself
b) The rest of the world or
c) Both.

It's not so much a judgement on my part. Everyone gets to do what they please in life. If you're enjoying yourself (or you have made yourself believed that you've enjoyed yourself) then by all means carry on. And if you didn't it makes you wonder why the hell you were there at all, and worse, why you'd go back.

All Boys Are Assholes

It's getting harder to remember these days that I was once a good person, or that there's some part of me that still cares about people. I know it's there, or it was there, somewhere buried deep inside under layers of... God-knows-what.

And now I look at myself in the mirror and see a person that I feel repulsed by, yet at the same time can welcome him warmly as the person that I am. I've never run away from my flaws, nor denied they existed, but the problem with accepting them is that you become used to their presence, such that getting rid of them becomes all the harder. I don't hate myself, but nor am I the person that I want to be. Then again I don't really know who that is either.