I called one of my best friends an idiot today, which made me feel kinda bad, even though I meant it. But I suppose in a sense stubborness is a part of all of us (myself especially) that's hard to deny. I emphatise, but the label stands.
However it was also nice to see another friend exhibit an uncommonly large amount of sense today. Sometimes you overlook qualities in certain people that turn out to surprise you years after knowing them.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fanboy
About a week ago I watched Manchester United lose to Barcelona in the Champions League Final in Rome. I've been ashamed to call myself a Red Devil fan for the last week, but not because they went down 2-0 to (after what we saw last Wednesday night) undoubtedly the best footballing team in Europe.
Throughout the week I've had to endure my fellow fans mutter under their breaths repeatedly on how 'the better team lost' and how 'we deserved to win', and most irritatingly of all, how 'I wish Chelsea were in the final instead'
Maybe you guys were watching a replay of a match many years ago, but the way I saw it my favourite team was getting their asses handed to them for 80 minutes. (They were actually owning for the first 10, totally being objective here) What is it about fans that they're just blindingly ignorant to the reality of the match transpiring in front of them? We're so fixated on the concept of winning that we somehow forget how to react when we lose. So when we do, we just turn our heads away from the fact and go on about all the past trophies that our favourite team as won. (Something my brother has been doing for... 16 years) Also, I don't understand why being a Manchester United fan seems to come in a package of arrogance for supporting the best team in England. They may very well be, but that doesn't mean we have to mock our fellow supporters from the Big 4. Chelsea, Liverpool, and Aston Villa fans are very much entitled to being fans of their own clubs and their own players. That's like... some guy from Raffles going around and making fun of all the people that come from places like HC and AC for being stupider. They may not be wrong, but that doesn't make them any less fucked up.
Second of all, please. PLEASE. Stop referring to Manchester United as 'We'. In that 'We' won the treble in 99. 'We' have now won the English League as many times as Liverpool and 'We' have the best players in the world. For God's sake, YOU are NOT part of Manchester United. You do not play for them, you do not pay for them, and large majority of you probably have never watched them live. And never will.
Lastly, and this is the weirdest one, why do you keep wishing that it was Chelsea at that final and not Barcelona? Who the hell wants to see ANOTHER Man U v Chelsea match? A friend at my place agreed that the matchup would've been incredibly boring, but 'at least WE would've won'. So what? Since when was it about winning? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A FAN, NOT A PLAYER. At least if you put money on it that might've been justified, but then you're an idiot for betting on a team that you're unable to think about objectively. I personally enjoyed watching the match, and watching Barcelona play (with English commentary). I remember the first football match I saw was ages ago (yes, before the Champions League Final of '99, I was a Man U fan before they actually started winning stuff). It was one of those seasons in '97 or '98, when Arsenal was still winning, but United chased them to the very end of the season. (Okay so my memory may not be correct here, but I was 8. This is how I remember it) And I remember watching United lose to Arsenal in one of the key matches for the season, but the way they played back then sparked something in me that made me want to watch them again. To be honest I don't think the feeling comes that strongly anymore when I watch the 'best United team in History' play, but that's not going to stop me from supporting them. (Also I seem to remember watching it with 2 friends. One of whom I always got annoyed with (Arsenal fan) and the other whom I idolised, somewhat (Man U fan). So I guess it was inevitable.
But ultimately it is kinda sad that watching a sport can turn us into people who can't think rationally. No wait it's kinda sad when anything turns us into people who can't think rationally. Anyway I've actually contemplated not supporting United anymore. (Which is actually a RATHER serious decision, also because it gets me off thinking about which university to go to)
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... I wrote all this because I wanted to think about something that was completely insignificant in my life, for a change. I'm tired. Coming back to camp after a week of off reminds me of that shitty feeling of going back to school after the long June holidays. (First week of January doesn't really count as school) It's kinda sad that I don't really have many friends I can ask out on a last minute basis, but my schedule always seems free for any activities anybody else plans.
Maybe I should talk to Newcastle fans more.
Throughout the week I've had to endure my fellow fans mutter under their breaths repeatedly on how 'the better team lost' and how 'we deserved to win', and most irritatingly of all, how 'I wish Chelsea were in the final instead'
Maybe you guys were watching a replay of a match many years ago, but the way I saw it my favourite team was getting their asses handed to them for 80 minutes. (They were actually owning for the first 10, totally being objective here) What is it about fans that they're just blindingly ignorant to the reality of the match transpiring in front of them? We're so fixated on the concept of winning that we somehow forget how to react when we lose. So when we do, we just turn our heads away from the fact and go on about all the past trophies that our favourite team as won. (Something my brother has been doing for... 16 years) Also, I don't understand why being a Manchester United fan seems to come in a package of arrogance for supporting the best team in England. They may very well be, but that doesn't mean we have to mock our fellow supporters from the Big 4. Chelsea, Liverpool, and Aston Villa fans are very much entitled to being fans of their own clubs and their own players. That's like... some guy from Raffles going around and making fun of all the people that come from places like HC and AC for being stupider. They may not be wrong, but that doesn't make them any less fucked up.
Second of all, please. PLEASE. Stop referring to Manchester United as 'We'. In that 'We' won the treble in 99. 'We' have now won the English League as many times as Liverpool and 'We' have the best players in the world. For God's sake, YOU are NOT part of Manchester United. You do not play for them, you do not pay for them, and large majority of you probably have never watched them live. And never will.
Lastly, and this is the weirdest one, why do you keep wishing that it was Chelsea at that final and not Barcelona? Who the hell wants to see ANOTHER Man U v Chelsea match? A friend at my place agreed that the matchup would've been incredibly boring, but 'at least WE would've won'. So what? Since when was it about winning? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE A FAN, NOT A PLAYER. At least if you put money on it that might've been justified, but then you're an idiot for betting on a team that you're unable to think about objectively. I personally enjoyed watching the match, and watching Barcelona play (with English commentary). I remember the first football match I saw was ages ago (yes, before the Champions League Final of '99, I was a Man U fan before they actually started winning stuff). It was one of those seasons in '97 or '98, when Arsenal was still winning, but United chased them to the very end of the season. (Okay so my memory may not be correct here, but I was 8. This is how I remember it) And I remember watching United lose to Arsenal in one of the key matches for the season, but the way they played back then sparked something in me that made me want to watch them again. To be honest I don't think the feeling comes that strongly anymore when I watch the 'best United team in History' play, but that's not going to stop me from supporting them. (Also I seem to remember watching it with 2 friends. One of whom I always got annoyed with (Arsenal fan) and the other whom I idolised, somewhat (Man U fan). So I guess it was inevitable.
But ultimately it is kinda sad that watching a sport can turn us into people who can't think rationally. No wait it's kinda sad when anything turns us into people who can't think rationally. Anyway I've actually contemplated not supporting United anymore. (Which is actually a RATHER serious decision, also because it gets me off thinking about which university to go to)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
... I wrote all this because I wanted to think about something that was completely insignificant in my life, for a change. I'm tired. Coming back to camp after a week of off reminds me of that shitty feeling of going back to school after the long June holidays. (First week of January doesn't really count as school) It's kinda sad that I don't really have many friends I can ask out on a last minute basis, but my schedule always seems free for any activities anybody else plans.
Maybe I should talk to Newcastle fans more.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
You tried, Captain.
(Spoiler, Elizabeth)
'I failed,' he said.
Maimun hugged him close, shaking his head, choking up.
'I have been ... a fool,' Deudermont gasped, no strength left in him.
'No!' Maimun insisted. 'No. You tried. For the good of the people, you tried.'
And something strange came over young Maimun in that moment, a revelation, an epiphany. He was speaking on Deudermont's behalf a that moment, trying to bring some comfort in a devastating moment of ultimate defeat, but as he spoke the words, they resonated within Maimun himself.
For Deudermont had indeed tried, had struck out for the good of those who had for years, in some cases for all their lives, suffered under the horror of Arklem Greeth and the five corrupt high captains. He had tried to be rid of the awful Prisoner's Carnival, to be rid of the pirates and the lawlessness that had left so many corpses in its bloody wake.
Maimun's own accusations against Deudermont, his claims that Deudermont's authoritarian nature was no better for the people he claimed to serve than were the methods fo the enemies he tried to defeat, rang hollow to the young pirate in that moment of great pain. He felt unsure of himself, as if the axioms upon which he had buildhis adult life were neither as resolute nor as morally pure, and as if Deudermont's impositino of order might not be so absolutely bad, as he had believed.
'You tried, Captain,' he said. 'That is all any of us can ever do.'
- The Pirate King, by R.A. Salvatore
'I failed,' he said.
Maimun hugged him close, shaking his head, choking up.
'I have been ... a fool,' Deudermont gasped, no strength left in him.
'No!' Maimun insisted. 'No. You tried. For the good of the people, you tried.'
And something strange came over young Maimun in that moment, a revelation, an epiphany. He was speaking on Deudermont's behalf a that moment, trying to bring some comfort in a devastating moment of ultimate defeat, but as he spoke the words, they resonated within Maimun himself.
For Deudermont had indeed tried, had struck out for the good of those who had for years, in some cases for all their lives, suffered under the horror of Arklem Greeth and the five corrupt high captains. He had tried to be rid of the awful Prisoner's Carnival, to be rid of the pirates and the lawlessness that had left so many corpses in its bloody wake.
Maimun's own accusations against Deudermont, his claims that Deudermont's authoritarian nature was no better for the people he claimed to serve than were the methods fo the enemies he tried to defeat, rang hollow to the young pirate in that moment of great pain. He felt unsure of himself, as if the axioms upon which he had buildhis adult life were neither as resolute nor as morally pure, and as if Deudermont's impositino of order might not be so absolutely bad, as he had believed.
'You tried, Captain,' he said. 'That is all any of us can ever do.'
- The Pirate King, by R.A. Salvatore
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Distant World
I felt... really happy today. More so than I've ever been for a really long time. It wasn't a kind of ecstatic overjoyous feeling, but more so a level of... contentment.
Watching Distant Worlds was.... pretty much the most awesome concert I've ever been to in my life. From an unbiased point of view it wasn't so great quality-wise, but it was the essence was what it was that allowed me to enjoy it so much. Combining the two things I love the most (games and music) and experiencing it on such a grand scale was... nothing short of awesome. I think I was tearing throughout like 90% of the performance. I think for 2 hours today I was truly transported to a place that was the combination of the two worlds of fantasy that I indulge in, which was as close to a heavenly feel that I would ever get. Every note played surged memories of all my past gaming experiences through my head, every spell casted, every GF/Aeon/etc. summoned, every Limit used. I feel the need to describe this in detail now because the feeling's sadly fading away already, and I'd like to put it down for something to remember, to go along with the physical souvenir of Mr. Nobuo Uematsu's autograph, and the less tangible memory of shaking his hand.
The wedding today didn't really disappoint either. Even though I ended up not playing a huge a role as I originally wanted to, it's just... nice to see a wedding in it's full entirety. Especially when you know the couple personally, you feel this sense of... happiness and satisfaction, at seeing a pair happily in love, and enjoying their wedding day despite all the crap that has to come with planning it.
It's things like these that make me believe in love and magic. And after two weeks of crappiness in camp this was exactly what I needed. It's making all the other small things I did to enjoy myself (DotA) seem small in comparison. So I guess I'm thankful, for this... rejuvenating start to my week of rejuvenation.
And maybe, hopefully, one day, I'll find that Distant World right next door, and just one step away from my life.
Watching Distant Worlds was.... pretty much the most awesome concert I've ever been to in my life. From an unbiased point of view it wasn't so great quality-wise, but it was the essence was what it was that allowed me to enjoy it so much. Combining the two things I love the most (games and music) and experiencing it on such a grand scale was... nothing short of awesome. I think I was tearing throughout like 90% of the performance. I think for 2 hours today I was truly transported to a place that was the combination of the two worlds of fantasy that I indulge in, which was as close to a heavenly feel that I would ever get. Every note played surged memories of all my past gaming experiences through my head, every spell casted, every GF/Aeon/etc. summoned, every Limit used. I feel the need to describe this in detail now because the feeling's sadly fading away already, and I'd like to put it down for something to remember, to go along with the physical souvenir of Mr. Nobuo Uematsu's autograph, and the less tangible memory of shaking his hand.
The wedding today didn't really disappoint either. Even though I ended up not playing a huge a role as I originally wanted to, it's just... nice to see a wedding in it's full entirety. Especially when you know the couple personally, you feel this sense of... happiness and satisfaction, at seeing a pair happily in love, and enjoying their wedding day despite all the crap that has to come with planning it.
It's things like these that make me believe in love and magic. And after two weeks of crappiness in camp this was exactly what I needed. It's making all the other small things I did to enjoy myself (DotA) seem small in comparison. So I guess I'm thankful, for this... rejuvenating start to my week of rejuvenation.
And maybe, hopefully, one day, I'll find that Distant World right next door, and just one step away from my life.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Television
I realise that the 3 serials that I indulge in all give me points for insight into my own life in some way. OTH allows me to reflect on my relationships with others, House lets me examine my own psyche and motivations, and... Heroes just lets me watch Sylar cut people up.
I am... exhuasted. And I've not even stepped outfield yet. And my 'week' is only a quarter done. It's again, the little things that I need to keep me sane for the next... 9 days.
I am... exhuasted. And I've not even stepped outfield yet. And my 'week' is only a quarter done. It's again, the little things that I need to keep me sane for the next... 9 days.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Lifeless
I didn't leave house at all the whole day. Scary.
I actually woke up at 1230pm today. Like... fell asleep at 230 and when I woke up and looked at the clock it was already 1230. Not like I was tired or anything too. Scary.
I am... about to not see a weekend for the first time in.... almost a year. Scary.
I actually woke up at 1230pm today. Like... fell asleep at 230 and when I woke up and looked at the clock it was already 1230. Not like I was tired or anything too. Scary.
I am... about to not see a weekend for the first time in.... almost a year. Scary.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Best Medicine
Tonight was just what I needed. When it's one of those times where there isn't a direct solution to what's bugging you, sometimes the only solution is just to forget about it and laugh it all away for a night. I don't laugh much these days. Not the forced laughter that comes out so often, but the real heartfelt laughter at something.
And it's nice to spend time with people who bring out the 'better' sides of me. While it's always more tempting to spend time with the friends who are the most like you in all ways, it's usually never really a good idea to hang around them too often. People who are too much like you make you think that certain rather unbecoming traits of yourself are acceptable, and you end up not becoming a better person by hanging out with them. Instead you end up 'enabling' each other's bad habits, until what was merely a side of you becomes more and more evident when you're with other people.
Which... is sad, because while these are the people that you can identify with the most, ultimately they add very little to your life, and end up making you not as whole a person as you could be.
And it's nice to spend time with people who bring out the 'better' sides of me. While it's always more tempting to spend time with the friends who are the most like you in all ways, it's usually never really a good idea to hang around them too often. People who are too much like you make you think that certain rather unbecoming traits of yourself are acceptable, and you end up not becoming a better person by hanging out with them. Instead you end up 'enabling' each other's bad habits, until what was merely a side of you becomes more and more evident when you're with other people.
Which... is sad, because while these are the people that you can identify with the most, ultimately they add very little to your life, and end up making you not as whole a person as you could be.
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