Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Power Overwhelming

After my last post it occurred to me that it is somewhat therapeutic to tear down certain concepts that people find useful/entertaining/essential but hold absolutely no appeal for me. And I will re-iterate this concept of how it holds no appeal for ME and ME alone. If you want to go running you are more than welcome to do so, and I will think no lesser of you (than I already do) for you doing it. Just don't expect me to follow you.

Today's topic would be the concept called POWER NAPPING. I was introduced to power napping during my A level year when I asked a classmate of mine how she survived by sleeping 3-4 hours a night and still come to school and stay awake during all the lessons, then go home and study the whole day without extended sleep catching-up. It seemed rather superhuman to me because I was sleeping about double her hours, and still dozing off during every possible lesson, going home and THEN taking another evening nap.

So she told me that she exercised what she called 'power napping', a phrase which I assumed she coined at the time but later realised that it was more widespread than I thought. Power Napping, as she defined it, involved one taking an EXTREMELY short nap of about 10 to 20 minutes, and waking up feeling suddenly refreshed and ready to continue studying for at least a good 1 to 2 hours after.

Now this seemed like a rather revolutionary concept at the time, so I did what I always do whenever a girl introduces something to me - I tried it. (right.) And I don't know what the science is behind it, but I find that it DOES sort of work. You do wake up feeling rather refreshed as if you had slept for a couple of hours, and it can extend your operating hours far better than splashing cold water on your face. There are however, a few problems.

1) Telling yourself to sleep for 10-20 minutes isn't the problem. If you're really tired you can probably fall asleep within the first 2 minutes, and you can always set a phone alarm that will definitely wake you up because 20 minutes isn't fast enough for you to hit REM sleep. Unless you've that magical and mysterious 'malady' known as narcolepsy. Or it's slightly more dubious cousin, MILD narcolepsy. The problem however is after your alarm wakes you up after 20 minutes YOU DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP. You're body is tired and you've actually had good sleep for probably the first time in awhile, particularly if you're napping in a comfortable place. And it takes a TREMENDOUS amount of self-discipline to get your ass out of... chair and go back to work.

2) After trying it abit more I theorised that how it sorta works is that you need to get a surge of adrenaline while sleeping and the sudden change in level of brain activity will be enough for you to function as if you were refreshed. In other words, you need to be SHOCKED awake, and sometimes an alarm just isn't good enough. It's like the scenario where you're sleeping in class, and you think you're only gonna sleep for 10 minutes, but after 10 minutes you think 5 more minutes... etc. And even then you still feel sleepy and you need to go to the toilet to wash your face. However if at the 8.39 minute mark your teacher wakes you up in a rather dramatic fashion (like flinging a whiteboard marker at your head) you are most definitely bound to be SHOCKED awake, and you'll find it pretty damn hard to go back to sleep anytime soon.

So the solution is obviously to a) Get self-discipline or b) Arrange your 'alarm' in such a way that it is bound to sufficiently scare the shit out of your... pituitary gland (is that what it's called?) such that it pumps enough adrenaline to keep you going for a long while more. Which is sometimes beyond your control.

Not that Power Napping is a completely useless concept. I've used it on multiple occasions in the army when I take the opportunity of my boss going out of the office for a short break. What happens is that when he comes back in he has the tendency to jerk the handle rather violently and throw the door open and shout something at me, which is more than enough to shock me awake. (He can't see me sleeping from the door)

I guess my whole issue is why one would NEED to Power Nap. I slept in classes and all not so much because I was tired but more because I was just plain bored. Power Napping is a way to keep your body going longer than it should be, which just strikes me as wrong for some reason. I mean if you have to survive on less-than-normal sleep for a couple of days for whatever reasons then it's fine, but when you have the luxury of being able to sleep for a good 8 hours every night there should be no need to put your body through that kind of sleep-deprived stress.

I know there are going to be many people that claim that the student life simple DOESN'T allow for you to sleep that much every night but I still find that hard to believe. But even if your university workload is that demanding it is no reason to deprive your body of natural rejuvenation. When I say 'not have the luxury of being able to sleep' I mean something more along the lines of a cranky old man waking you up at 3 in the morning so he can drive around and wake more people up at 3 in the morning. You are the only person who feels that you can't sleep because you need to study. To me studying when I'm tired makes absolutely no sense anyway because I'm not making any kind of progress, so I'd rather go to sleep and wake up in the morning to do work.

Oh I forgot to mention that there is a sort of a side-effect from Power Napping. It doesn't affect everyone, but it does hit me pretty bad. It can be described as this rather overwhelming sense of irritation directed at the object/person that woke you up in that shocking manner. I know it's kinda petty and rather princess-like, but I like sleeping and I really hate people who interrupt my naps. I've hurled vulgarities at ISD (secret army police or something) for waking me up at 2am suspecting me of forgery before. (Story for another time) There was once this incident with my brother a while ago that sorta sums it all up.

(at 6am in the morning, when I didn't need to go school)
Thom: Gor, wake up.
Me: What. What the fuck you want?
Thom: ... Eh? I had something important to tell you but I forgot what.
Me: (punches Thom in the face)

If there's a good reason for me to wake up, fine I'm reasonable. But if you're going to wake me up without one or take too long to tell me why then DIE.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

10 Reasons

Today I saw an article in the paper entitled '10 reasons to start running' which I felt obliged to on personal principle to flame.

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1) That festive belly looks bad on you, and running is one of the quickest ways to get rid of it. A 70kg person who covers 8km in an hour would burn about 700 calories (which probably was the Christmas pudding with cream)

For Reason Number 1 in this list it isn't a very strong one. It assumes that people have actually put on weight by over-eating during the Christmas Season, and while running is a decent solution for losing weight, this is kinda flawed on 2 levels. A) Not all people over-eat during Christmas (I think I've actually lost weight) and B) It implies that running should be done as a seasonal guilt-solver.

2) It is an easy way to save up for that new iPhone. Running is one of the cheapest forms of excercise -all you need is a pair of shoes, a top and shorts. Goodbye thousand-dollar gym membership!

I don't know who on earth would pay that much for a gym membership, but running doesn't actually SAVE you any money per se. What saves you money is NOT paying $1000 for gym membership! Running is simply a substitute to the gym, and not exactly a direct one at that because people do go to the gym for other reasons (i.e. bodybuilding etc.) .... And who the hell wants an iPhone anyway.

3) Drugs are trouble, alcohol is expensive, running is a legal way to get high. Running produces endorphins in the brain, which can block sensations of pain and give an overall feeling of euphoria.

Okay I've heard about this concept of 'Runner's high' which some people will claim exists, but which I personally doubt. But even granted the existence of such a 'high' and accepting the writer's explanation of the cause, this is still a terrible reason to pick up running because pain that the endorphins being realeased are supposedly blocking is actually supposed to MEAN SOMETHING. Such as, your body telling you that you should stop and rest before something happens to your heart. In other words, running is a no safer form of 'high' than alcohol or drugs, probably just as addictive to some people and while cheaper, not much of a better alternative. You want 'high'? Try music.

4) For those who still need their alchohol fix, running makes beer taste so much better. Not convinced? See www.lioncityhash.com

It took me a while to find out what the site was about, but it's basically a club for 'runners with a drinking problem'. They actually run with a set of rules like a game or whatever, but the highlight of the run seems to be this:

A down-down is the chug-a-lugging of a twelve ounce beer from the Hash Mug. Once the Hash Song signals to begin chugging, the Hasher must drink until the mug leaves the lips or the beer depleted. Either way, the mug immediately goes over the hasher’s head. Non-drinkers get a free beer-shampoo.

The Hash Song always start with an off-key "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

And it goes like this –

“Ahhhh... (hold for about 10 seconds)
Here's to (hash name or real name), he's true blue
He's a Bastard through and through
He's a Piss-pot so they say
He tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way.

Drink it down, down, down...” (this is the signal to START chugging the down-down)

If the Hasher is taking too long to finish the drink, the following is sung:

“Why are we waiting,
Why are we waiting.”

Until the offending hasher has cooperated (finished the beer) or has been dunked by other senior hashers.

... I seriously have no idea what to say to this. I don't even know how it's relevant.

5) You can achieve something every day.

Such as? Running is by no means an ACHIEVEMENT. If you're the kind of person that thinks 'Yay I just ran 10km I feel like I've accomplished something' you're probably also the kind of person that thought 'Yay I just WALKED 24 kilometers around a deserted jungle island'. Which shows what kind of 'achievements' you get off on. In that case I once 'achieved' drinking 5 cans of Coke in an hour, but you don't see me going around boasting it. ... I actually have more of a right to boast because I'm pretty sure less people can down 5 cans of Coke in an hour than run 10km. But I digress.

6) There are more running paths than ever in Singapore. Last October, the 23km-long Western Adventure Park Connector Network was launched, the second after the 43km Eastern Coastal network. By 2015, the network is targeted to total 300km.

TKA Virtualand opens arcades on something like a quarterly basis, but that's not a reason for everyone to start flocking to the arcades and taking up Tekken. (And this is coming from me). There are more bars/clubs than ever in Singapore but that's not to say that you should be indulging in alcohol and... whatever vice is associated with clubs, just because it's CONVENIENT.

6) (No it's not a typo there are actually to 6-es, slipped in subtlely in the middle of the column so you wouldn't notice) David Poon began running a few years ago and attempted his first marathon as a 63-year-old in 2008. Last month, he clocked 5hr 54min in his second Singapore Marathon - beating half the field. Take it from him, it is never too late to start running.

Someone else being able to do something is NOT a reason for YOU to start doing something. Fernando Torres was the captain of Atheletico Madrid at the age of 18 but that doesn't mean everyone should take up soccer. That being said, there is something to be admired about a man who can do all that at his age. You know what else I'd like to be able to do at 63? BE ALIVE.

7) More than 50,000 people took part in the Singapore Marathon last year. These fifty thousand runnners cannot be wrong.

I could bring up any statistic on the number of people who do stupid things a year like drugs, alcohol or smoking and I'm pretty sure it'd be more than 50,000. This is you would've told your mom when you were 8, to which she'dve replied 'if they all jumped off a building would you?' Granted her reply is flawed as well, which would at best leave this at stalemate.

8) You can take it everywhere. In fact, it is a novel and great way to explore a new city. I have run past ... ... ... (alot of places I can't be bothered to copy). Many big cities like Berlin and New York, offer sightseeing running tours.

I suppose this is probably the best reason that's on the list, and I can't really argue with it in any way. As a hobby this is probably why running is superior to anything else.

9) Amputee Muhammad Shariff Abdullah, 41, has run countless times, including the Singapore Marathon, since getting fitted with a prosthetic blade-like left leg in December 2008. There is no excuse. Everyone can run - just put one foot in front of the other.

See counter-argument to point 6, because this is the same argument as point 6 but with a different example. So yea I guess there really only are 10 reasons.

10) Why wouldn't you do something that is good for you?

The final punchline cleverly masked behind a rhetorical question. One of the many things wrong with it is the assumption that running is actually 'good for you'. Sure there are countless benefits, physically, mentally, and I guess if you want to join the above-mentioned club, socially. On the other hand for every study that outlines the healthy benefits of running, there's one that details its harmful effects, to your knees, spine, whatever. So it comes down to some people say it's good, and some say it's bad. Which makes the underlying assumption of this 'reason' at the very least, questionable.

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... I've nothing against running, actually. Or runners in general. One of my best friends happens to enjoy running regularly, and while I do tend to tease her about it, it's a pretty damn good habit to have. What I hate are the runners that tell you to start running because you need to exercise, and start expounding the so-callled virtues of their so-called sport. On a personal level I don't like running and I probably never will because:

a) It hurts my back. And while I probably suffer less pain than Amputee Muhammad Shariff Abdullah, 41, and have comparatively nothing to complain about, I'm 20, and the fact that I've an injury like this actually bothers me quite alot, so I'm trying my best not to aggravate it.

b) I find it INCREDIBLY BORING. I have personally never experienced this mythical 'high' that runners keep going on about, which according to them is probably because I've never run hard/long enough. But my main problem with getting through even 10 minutes of the activity is that I would be completely and utterly bored. There is seriously nothing more banal than running around the streets that I walk everyday and trying to appreciate the beauty of the world around me but at the same time speeding by it. Even if I were the type to admire nature and creation in general I'd much rather do it at a slow pace, stopping every now and then to check out things that catch my interest, and also in a far less sweaty state of being.

c) I am lazy. I dislike physical exertion without a purpose as much as A LOT of people dislike mental exertion. So let's call it even.